It had been a longtime dream of mine to ride a Harley, as a driver or a passenger, it didn't matter. This was prior to my taking the motorcycle course at the Community College.
Judy Faye called me one afternoon in to see if I would like to go for a bike ride. HELL YES, I replied. She said well put on some jeans and get over here. WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO. Jeans, hmmmmmm I wondered if I even had a pair I could get my big butt into. I found some jeans and a flannel shirt. Of course I couldn't tell the husband, he would have gone into some kind of spasms and had to be killed immediately. Off to Judy's I went.
Seems that her sister, Janis' boyfriend, Richard was going to take me for a ride. God knows the stories those two had told him. I had met him a couple of times and thought he was an ass.
I pulled up in the driveway at Judy's and saw a apple red Harley. WOW! I was impressed. I had my camera and took some photos of the bike, Judy took some of me on the bike and some of me on the back of the bike with Richard. We chatted for awhile and I thanked him profusely for the opportunity. He had very little to say. Told me he would show me where to put my feet and hands. Okay, I was ready to rumble.
Richard got on the bike and revved the engine which was music to my ears. I love loud engines, the louder the better. (remember I am also deaf) So Richard showed me the foot plate and said for me to step up on my left foot and throw my right leg over the seat. That was not that easy. My right leg weighs a whole lot. I had no idea how heavy it was. It weighed so much that Janis had to help me throw it over. How embarrassing. It's hard to be cool sometimes. So I wondered where in the hell I was going to hold on. There was a sissy bar behind me but that felt awkward. Janis said "I hold on to his belt" -- I told her I didn't know him that well. So I had a few choices of places to hang on. Around his waist, his belt or the sissy bar. Well I knew that I could really hang on tight if my arms were around his waist, but then, my boobs would be pressing up against his back.....not good. I opted for the belt.
Revved up and ready we pulled out of the yard. No hearing aids, because they buzz inside a helmet and when Richard turned his head sideways to speak to me I was practically crawling on his shoulder to hear. So I had assumed we would ride around the campus and thru downtown and head home. WRONG!!! We go the opposite way and get on the bypass. I love speed and noise, so I was in heaven. Then I started to get concerned. Where in the hell were we going so fast? My family had no idea where I was or what I was doing. I crawled up on Richard's back and asked where we were going. He yelled back that we were going up to Mountain Lake. A long drive up a curvy mountain on a two lane road. I get car sick -- I am sure I get motorcycle sick too. It was probably snowing on the mountain and I did not want to travel that road. I finally told him I was not happy with that idea, and to go somewhere less dangerous. He laughed.
Well Richard did not take me up the mountain but instead on a "KYA" road to a country town with a gas station and 2 beer joints. On the way to New Castle we went around curves almost lying down on the road. The first time he went around one of those KYA turns I leaned into it (as you should), but I put my right foot down exactly where he was leaning the bike towards. He yelled to never do that again. AYE AYE, Sir. While we drove along this road it was amazing. The smells of honeysuckle, grass and even a skunk. It is so unlike a car ride where you are all closed up. You feel free as a bird.
Once we got into the center of New Castle Richard drove towards a couple who were getting ready to get on their motorcycle. I guess it is a biker thing and we rode towards them to chat. I was on the back still and he had his feet down keeping us steady. I'm thinking, how cool I must look on the back of my honey's hawg..... Get a grip was my next thought. Richard asked about the Poker Run and whether or not they were going to participate. I had no clue what a Poker Run was and didn't really care but thought I should. We told them goodbye and they headed in the opposite direction. Richard turned and told me were were going to go South and find some beer joint and have a beer. WHAAAAAAT????? I don't drink beer nor do I drive or ride with people that do. Oh My God -- what a fine mess I have gotten myself into now. I can see the headlines now, Married woman and younger man killed as their motorcycle ran off the mountain. They were drunk. You cannot imagine what was going thru my head. Richard told me that a Poker Run was when a bunch of bikers went from bar to bar playing poker and drinking. Oh, what fun that would be.
We drove to the first beer joint and it was closed. I said THANK YOU JESUS, under my breath. I should not have gotten so hopeful, 5 miles away was another beer joint and it was open. Richard pulled the bike right up to the front door. There are 3 teenage boys sitting up against the window smoking. I knew they were so jealous of Richard for having a Hawg and a Woman to ride with. GET A GRIP -- my mind was not working right that day, fantasy land again. Richard kicks the kickstand down and tells me to get off first. Hell, that was a lot easier said than done. Who was gonna lift my leg off? I told him I didn't think I could get my leg over the other side. He laughed and said lean up against me. Put your hands on my shoulders and kick your leg back. It worked -- was that cool or what, him telling me in front of the teenage boys how to get off the damned bike.....UNREAL. I am soooooooo cool. I was so cool that I had a hard time getting my helmet off of my big, sweaty head. I hurt my ears. WHO KNEW? Speaking of a sweaty head I had no idea how bad it looked. I had to walk by a mirror thru the "restaurant" into the bar. I looked like I had been waterboarded. Still cool tho. The bar was dark and some old toothless wonder guy asked how we were doing. I by then had a pole up my butt and was not speaking to anyone. This could be right out of the movie Deliverance, for all we knew. Back to the bar and there were two big window fans sitting on the bar, Thank God for that. Maybe my hair would dry out and the sweat would dry up in my ears. I have always wanted to sit at a bar and drink a long neck beer. I don't even like beer, remember, but still I had always wanted to. Well little did I know that Judy Faye had told Richard about the bar, and the beer. So as far as Richard knew, he was granting my wishes. I was pissed because he assumed he could just take me in that bar and two that he would drink a beer and drive and think that I would accompany him. NO WAY JOSE. So the bartender asked what we would like and Richard ordered "a long neck bud" and the fellow looked at me. The pole was still in place (even tho I was sitting on a bar stool)and I said NOTHING. Richard wanted to know why I didn't want a beer. Ms. Pole up the Butt said "I DON'T DRINK BEER". Well that was the truth but you know, when in Rome..... I was sorry that I had not gotten a coke or something as the sweat kept rolling. The guy came by and said here's a coke on the house. He had to have known I was so uncomfortable, especially with that pole. I really needed to go to the bathroom but there was no way in hell I was even going to look for a bathroom in the place. Pole is still there. Richard tells the bartender he would like another beer. I nearly fell off the damned stool. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Two beers, my life is in his hands and he is going to kill me. OH JESUS, I was praying silently that if the Lord would just let me get home safely I would never, ever, do this again. We sat there in this dark, dank hot bar and didn't speak. He had no personality anyway and we hardly knew each other... nothing to say. THEN, he asked if I had any money, he wanted another beer. I said NO I DO NOT!!! Pole was really in tight by then. Richard said well if I can't have another beer we might as well leave.
Out the door we go and the teenage boys are still there, didn't steal the bike or anything. It was going to be really hard for me to be cool when I couldn't throw my leg over the bike by myself. Richard was going to have to throw his big leg over first and I had just hurt my ears trying to get the helmet on. Richard reminded me I had stand on the foot stand and lean on him (OH GOD). That done, we peeled out of the gravel lot headed in the wrong direction. I yelled at Richard and asked where we were going. He said we were going down Catawba Mountain into Salem, Va. WHYYYYYYYYY I asked. It's a nice ride he yelled back. Well as we started down the mountain it began to rain. GREAT I THOUGHT. The roads will be slippery and we will die for sure. These are guilty thoughts, I realized. That's what happens when you sneak and you don't have any fun. So we are riding in the rain and headed the wrong way from home. The rain did eventually stop and we weren't too wet. That was the good news.
The bad news I realized was that we were going home on the INTERSTATE. OH MY GOD. Interstate 81 is a death trap in a car, not to mention a damned motorcycle.
So we left the small town of Salem and roared up a ramp onto the Interstate. I was holding on for dear life. Then I thought my God, I will probably pass my son on this road. Worry, Worry, Worry. Little did I know I had more to worry about. The rain had started up again (lightly) and Richard decides to pass all the trucks on the Interstate. You know how scary it is to pass one of these 18 wheelers if you are in a car -- if you are in the passenger seat, it is scarier. Well we were up close and personal with those 18 wheels going 70 miles per hour and we were keeping up. I did a whole lot of praying the rest of the way home. It was a 35 minute ride once we got on the Interstate and it was a hairy ride at that. Once we got off of the Interstate I started to relax, like it was okay to die close to home!
We arrived back at Judy's safe and sound and she took another picture. I wanted to go home and drink a huge mixed drink and pass out. Maybe I would wake up and realize it was a bad dream. I thanked Richard and got in my car and went home to unwind. It wasn't til later on that I learned about what Judy had told Richard and then I wanted to kill her all over again. It would have been perfect if Richard had driven me through Town or around campus and brought me home.
The bad thing is that I am sure I ruined Richard's outing by being such an ass and I am sorry for that. The good thing is that we were not killed and I am thankful for that. Home never looked so good.
Happy Trails
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
ELVIS, WE'RE COMING
I cannot believe that I typed this whole blog last night and instead of saving it, I erased it. There was no way in hell that I could ever retrieve it. Believe me I tried. I saved it as I went too! Color me ANGRY!
After we returned home from Connecticut we had one day to do laundry and repack. This trip has been planned for quiet some time. The Memphis Blues and Jazz Festival. Judy found it on the Internet and since we love Blues and Jazz and Memphis -- WHY NOT GO! We got on line and purchased $75 tickets. That covered Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Man, we were excited.
Judy's sister Janis, was going on the trip with us. Judy (the rich one) has two Cadillacs: an older one that is HUGGGGGE; the second one 3 yrs old but small. The new one is not very comfortable either. Hard seats require puffy pillows for our large butts. Therefore, the older Caddy was going to be our chariot to Memphis. Wednesday morning the girls picked me up and we were all giddy. Roserita, our GPS, was ready and willing to lead us on. We laughed and joked for miles and then settled down.
I noticed as we drove that anytime we got quiet or if I happened to nod off, Judy ran over the grids on the shoulder and jarred us back to normal. I noticed this off and on all the way down there. I called her attention to it and she laughed. I said you know, you did the same thing when we went to Connecticut. So obviously she DOES NOT WANT ME TO HAVE A NAP. Sometimes I tell her she has sleep apnea. I don't think she really does but I try and scare her anyway. So we all had to be very alert and aware on the interstate driving with Judy.
As we got further into Tennessee, Janis mentioned that a mutual friend, Tracey, had mentioned we should stop in Buck Snort, Tennessee. She and her husband had been intrigued by the name when they saw the road sign and stopped. They found a "restaurant" and took a break and had homemade pie. Well, what the hell we are always up for pie. We saw the sign, Buck Snort 1 mile ahead and we all perked up. Judy whipped the Caddy down the ramp and there was nothing, zip, zilch. She made a quick U turn and low and behold we saw it in the distance. In front of the restaurant were two 18 wheelers with their motors running. So I guess the drivers were sleeping. Since this was Janis' idea we made her walk up the steps to see if the place was open. It looked closed but we just weren't sure and there was no need for all of us to get out. Janis is always a good sport and she hopped out and skipped up the steps. At the door she stood and read some poster on the glass. We wondered whether it was a WANTED poster or what. It was a pretty spooky area and we were surrounded by mountains and woods. So Janis finally opens the door and disappears. I said "what if she never comes out"? This could easily be like PSYCHO. In a minute or two Janis was standing at the big picture window waving us in.
So we slowly got out of the car and tried to straighten up and walk like normal people. Finally walked in and the place was huge. The waitress and Janis were the only ones in there. The waitress said to take any table we liked. There was a huge television mounted on the wall and we took a table for 12 and huddled together. We told the waitress we were there for pie. She let us know she only had a few pieces. I got pecan and Judy and Janis both got coconut custard. I had to have coffee and thank God I did. That was the driest pecan pie I had ever had. It was not good and if it was homemade, I would never admit it. Oh, I forgot to mention that all of the walls were covered with stuffed animals -- dead stuffed animals. Not really something that I enjoy looking at while I eat, or any other time. We probably spent a whole 20 minutes there and rushed to the car. We departed Buck Snort in a hurry.
It took us a long time to get to Memphis (and we were staying outside of Memphis (in Mississippi). We always stay in Mississippi because the first few times we could not find a room in Memphis. So we liked the area and it was a short drive to the city so that's what we normally do. So after 12 hours we arrived at our motel. It was a Comfort Inn but it was really a dump. I had kept asking Judy questions about it and she said look at the website. Couldn't tell very much but it was not the best place we have ever stayed in. The one saving grace was that the motel was right behind a WAFFLE HOUSE. YAYYYYYY. Pecan waffles, hash browns, grits. So we were all grinning from ear to ear. We would go to bed happy.
The next morning we decided we would have breakfast at the Waffle House on our way to Memphis. It was a beautiful day and we were going to take Janis on a quick tour of Memphis and Graceland. We informed her that we had been in Graceland and had no intention of ever going back. We would certainly wait for her to take the grand tour too. She said if we didn't like it she probably wouldn't either. We purchased some souvenirs in the gift shop there, had lunch in a "drugstore" with Formica tables and a soda fountain. As we left the area Janis was able to see the airplane Elvis had named for Lisa Marie. Down on the tail there was a logo "TCB" with a lightning bolt thru the middle. TCB, we learned, stands for TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS. On the road again, headed in search of the festival site and Beale Street.
Of course, prior to seeing Beale Street Judy managed to take us into the projects and by the dumpsters several times. I told Janis that was par for the course and she mumbled something about her sister's "problems". Drove over the bridge into Arkansas, because we could. Nothing there but gas stations and fast food. We were almost out of gas when we crossed the line and we had to hunt for Judy's favorite brand. Gassed up we headed back across the river into Memphis. Parked in our usual parking garage and made the walk to Beale Street. Janis loved it immediately. Street was blocked off and loud music surrounds you immediately. There are signs everywhere for "BIG ASS BEER", which I guess means the container. We aren't beer drinkers so we never found out. We walked down to the end of the street where several motorcycle cops were guarding the street. No cars allowed. Judy insisted I take a photo of the cops...you know we love'em. That done we started back up the hill and saw the young boys doing there thing. There are usually 5 or 6 black kids that are out on the street performing for money. They are awesome, all of them. They do flips from the top of Beale to the bottom. They have a tip jar in the street for tips, of course. I had my new FLIP and took a video of that. There was great blues music coming from an area by one particular bar. Janis led the way, got us a seat on one of the picnic benches and we settled down for some great entertainment. We listened to a female singer that was very good and Janis even bought one of her CD's. She handed Janis a photo of herself and got her lipstick out of her bra and covered her lips and kissed the photo -- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, we didn't want that. We sat thru several songs before we decided to mosey on up the street. Checked out some more bars and headed for the car.
We headed back to the hotel for a nap and some wine. Later on we decided to check out a barbecue restaurant we had heard about and even seen on the Food Network channel. Judy was dying for some ribs and I wanted barbecue. Our waitress was probably around 19 or 20 and had a real attitude problem. She showed us to our boothe and acted like it killed her to move. I commented on that and Judy told me to calm down and behave. 20 minutes later she graced us with her presence to take our order. I asked for coffee and she said we don't have any. I said now or ever? She replied "EVER". I wanted to fix her attitude with a tire tool. She never came back to check on us, see if we wanted anything else, drinks or the bill. We finally had to go to the register to pay. The manager looked aggravated that we didn't have the bill and that he had to chase her down to get it. She glared at us. Judy and Janis got change and walked back and left her a tip -- GUESS WHO DID NOT LEAVE A TIP. You got it. ME! Back we to the hotel we went, bellies full and chins greasy.
The next morning was Friday, the first day of the Blues Festival. James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt were two of the headliners. Of course, they were not performing until Saturday night. But the program we had looked great. We had no idea what to expect. On our drive-by we had seen several large white tents set up in the park down by the river and several stages set up on the grounds.
We opened the hotel door to check the weather and DAMN, it was pouring rain. Just our luck we all said. Why Us? Janis said never fear -- she was prepared. She brought huge black garbage bags for us. I swear to God, they were 6 ft long. Judy happened to have some scissors and we were able to fashion rain suits for ourselves. Janis, the smart one, brought a hooded raincoat with her from home and Judy did have two umbrellas in the Caddy. Judy had read all the information about parking, trolley, buses, etc. We parked near the PYRAMID (by the bridge) and waited on the trolley car. I hoped I didn't get car sick (or would it be trolley sick). We stood under a trolley gazebo and waited for about 20 minutes for the trolley. The excitement was building and we were acting stupid. 50 cents for a trolley ride to the park and we were on our way. Still raining and we were still pissed. When we exited the trolley it was nowhere near where we thought we would be let off. Rather than inside the park area, we were let off at the top of the hill and had about 40 steps to try and get down with our garbage bags on. Judy had on a long dress and she couldn't see her feet. Janis guided her down the steps because we didn't want to loose the driver of the Big Ole Caddy. I (the pretty one) held on to the railing and prayed I didn't fall down the steps and die in a damned garbage bag. Suffice it to say, we all made it down safely, none the worse.
Once on the park grounds we had to find our tickets inside our purses, inside our garbage bags. I was already sweating and we had just gotten there. Rain was still pouring and we were still pissed to the tune of $75. We walked into the first tent we came to and music was blaring. The entrance was at the rear of the tent and there was no way that we could even see who was singing. Nobody important since there were no signs anywhere. God, it gets hot in a tent when you are wearing a 6ft black garbage bag. I was in and out of there in a heartbeat. I watched some group on one of the outside stages performing and realized most of the people standing in the rain watching and listening were holding up their beer bottles and swaying to the music. Beer, liquor....hmmm. I was really in no mood. Our feet were wet and it was a cold rain. Judy and I found a picnic table to sit on and Janis said she would scope the place out and see if there was anything we needed to see or hear. She came back with a mixed drink and shared with me. Other people were impressed (I guess) with our garbage bags too. We kept getting the Fonzie thumbs up or a "cool man" from various drunks. We were probably in the park for an hour (maybe) and decided we were done. We looked everywhere for a way out of that Park that didn't involve steps. Unless we were in a car and driving we were going back up those 45 steps, in our 6 ft. garbage bags. I was really sweating by this time. Judy was praying that the Lord would let her make it up the last step without falling backwards or tripping on her dress. He answered our prayers, except for the rain.
Back to the room for some wine and crackers and fruit. It took a long time to warm our bodies and during the warm up Janis decides she would like to go to a mall.
Hell with that Judy and I said. Janis whined and we gave in. We had nothing else to do and there were only 5 channels on the TV in the hotel. We hurried thru the rain to the car and headed out to look for a mall. I was pretty sure I could get us to a mall. I was WRONG! We drove for an hour on every back road in Mississippi. Nadda, Nothing, No Malls. Then we decided the malls were closing and we would head home. Guess what. We left Roserita at home, by herself. No way were we able to find our hotel. Off and on interstate ramps, little towns....where in the hell were we? I finally made Judy (the man) stop so I could ask directions. Would you believe that nobody knew the name of our town, street, hotel? Unreal. I asked a guy sitting in his car, he had no clue. We drove around for 30 more minutes and rode right by the deli mart where nobody had a clue. I made Judy (the man) drive up near the gas tanks so I can ask someone else. The person I chose knew exactly where we wanted to go and how to get there. YAYYYY for our side. Roserita had been very helpful and we now knew we would be "lost" without her. Found the hotel, piled out of the car, everyone was tired by then and we went to bed.
The next morning I awoke to Janis and Judy laughing out loud. They said I had been talking in my sleep and even sat up, flipped open my cell phone and said something, shut it and began talking again. They were impressed that I could do that in my sleep. They said I talked alot in my sleep but nothing made any sense. THANK GOD.... That was our laugh for the day. We decided to hell with the festival, we weren't doing that again. If the rain stopped and the sun came out -- then we would discuss it. One of the hotel maids told us that it has rained every time that festival has been held. Wish we had known that when we decided to buy tickets. Sounds like curse to me.
That was the extent of our activities and Sunday morning we packed up and loaded the car. Roserita was plugged in and the windshield wipers were wiping. It was a dreary day from the get go and we chatted for awhile and then it got quiet. Guess who started running off the road -- You got it ---- JUDY (the sleepy one). I was cussing up a storm. I cannot remember whether I took over or whether Janis did. Judy said she was sorry but the rain and the car movement made her sleepy. So she took the shotgun seat and slept all the way until we made a pit stop or stopped for food. We did stop at some little hole in the wall town, nope not Buck Snort, and drove up a steep hill to a Taco Bell. We all had our burritos and one of the guys working there walked by and asked if everything was OK. Judy said yes, but where are we. I wish you could have seen his face. He said TACO BELL. Then we all burst out laughing. We knew what she meant (we are psychic)-- He probably thought we were boozers. Judy finally told him she wanted to know the name of the town. Then he was embarrassed.
Bellies full and bladders emptied we headed for the Interstate. Judy was asleep almost instantly and tried to hold her head up and act as though she was awake -- but you don't snore when you are awake -- well, at least I don't. The traffic was terrible and there was just enough rain to have to run the wipers and to know that the road was slick and we had to slow down.
We made it home safely and unloaded the car and dropped me off. It felt good to be home.
We are already planning our next trip. We loved Kentucky and the the racetracks and thoroughbreds running in the pastures. We hope to have enough money to go to a race there too. Keep your fingers crossed.
Happy Trails
After we returned home from Connecticut we had one day to do laundry and repack. This trip has been planned for quiet some time. The Memphis Blues and Jazz Festival. Judy found it on the Internet and since we love Blues and Jazz and Memphis -- WHY NOT GO! We got on line and purchased $75 tickets. That covered Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Man, we were excited.
Judy's sister Janis, was going on the trip with us. Judy (the rich one) has two Cadillacs: an older one that is HUGGGGGE; the second one 3 yrs old but small. The new one is not very comfortable either. Hard seats require puffy pillows for our large butts. Therefore, the older Caddy was going to be our chariot to Memphis. Wednesday morning the girls picked me up and we were all giddy. Roserita, our GPS, was ready and willing to lead us on. We laughed and joked for miles and then settled down.
I noticed as we drove that anytime we got quiet or if I happened to nod off, Judy ran over the grids on the shoulder and jarred us back to normal. I noticed this off and on all the way down there. I called her attention to it and she laughed. I said you know, you did the same thing when we went to Connecticut. So obviously she DOES NOT WANT ME TO HAVE A NAP. Sometimes I tell her she has sleep apnea. I don't think she really does but I try and scare her anyway. So we all had to be very alert and aware on the interstate driving with Judy.
As we got further into Tennessee, Janis mentioned that a mutual friend, Tracey, had mentioned we should stop in Buck Snort, Tennessee. She and her husband had been intrigued by the name when they saw the road sign and stopped. They found a "restaurant" and took a break and had homemade pie. Well, what the hell we are always up for pie. We saw the sign, Buck Snort 1 mile ahead and we all perked up. Judy whipped the Caddy down the ramp and there was nothing, zip, zilch. She made a quick U turn and low and behold we saw it in the distance. In front of the restaurant were two 18 wheelers with their motors running. So I guess the drivers were sleeping. Since this was Janis' idea we made her walk up the steps to see if the place was open. It looked closed but we just weren't sure and there was no need for all of us to get out. Janis is always a good sport and she hopped out and skipped up the steps. At the door she stood and read some poster on the glass. We wondered whether it was a WANTED poster or what. It was a pretty spooky area and we were surrounded by mountains and woods. So Janis finally opens the door and disappears. I said "what if she never comes out"? This could easily be like PSYCHO. In a minute or two Janis was standing at the big picture window waving us in.
So we slowly got out of the car and tried to straighten up and walk like normal people. Finally walked in and the place was huge. The waitress and Janis were the only ones in there. The waitress said to take any table we liked. There was a huge television mounted on the wall and we took a table for 12 and huddled together. We told the waitress we were there for pie. She let us know she only had a few pieces. I got pecan and Judy and Janis both got coconut custard. I had to have coffee and thank God I did. That was the driest pecan pie I had ever had. It was not good and if it was homemade, I would never admit it. Oh, I forgot to mention that all of the walls were covered with stuffed animals -- dead stuffed animals. Not really something that I enjoy looking at while I eat, or any other time. We probably spent a whole 20 minutes there and rushed to the car. We departed Buck Snort in a hurry.
It took us a long time to get to Memphis (and we were staying outside of Memphis (in Mississippi). We always stay in Mississippi because the first few times we could not find a room in Memphis. So we liked the area and it was a short drive to the city so that's what we normally do. So after 12 hours we arrived at our motel. It was a Comfort Inn but it was really a dump. I had kept asking Judy questions about it and she said look at the website. Couldn't tell very much but it was not the best place we have ever stayed in. The one saving grace was that the motel was right behind a WAFFLE HOUSE. YAYYYYYY. Pecan waffles, hash browns, grits. So we were all grinning from ear to ear. We would go to bed happy.
The next morning we decided we would have breakfast at the Waffle House on our way to Memphis. It was a beautiful day and we were going to take Janis on a quick tour of Memphis and Graceland. We informed her that we had been in Graceland and had no intention of ever going back. We would certainly wait for her to take the grand tour too. She said if we didn't like it she probably wouldn't either. We purchased some souvenirs in the gift shop there, had lunch in a "drugstore" with Formica tables and a soda fountain. As we left the area Janis was able to see the airplane Elvis had named for Lisa Marie. Down on the tail there was a logo "TCB" with a lightning bolt thru the middle. TCB, we learned, stands for TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS. On the road again, headed in search of the festival site and Beale Street.
Of course, prior to seeing Beale Street Judy managed to take us into the projects and by the dumpsters several times. I told Janis that was par for the course and she mumbled something about her sister's "problems". Drove over the bridge into Arkansas, because we could. Nothing there but gas stations and fast food. We were almost out of gas when we crossed the line and we had to hunt for Judy's favorite brand. Gassed up we headed back across the river into Memphis. Parked in our usual parking garage and made the walk to Beale Street. Janis loved it immediately. Street was blocked off and loud music surrounds you immediately. There are signs everywhere for "BIG ASS BEER", which I guess means the container. We aren't beer drinkers so we never found out. We walked down to the end of the street where several motorcycle cops were guarding the street. No cars allowed. Judy insisted I take a photo of the cops...you know we love'em. That done we started back up the hill and saw the young boys doing there thing. There are usually 5 or 6 black kids that are out on the street performing for money. They are awesome, all of them. They do flips from the top of Beale to the bottom. They have a tip jar in the street for tips, of course. I had my new FLIP and took a video of that. There was great blues music coming from an area by one particular bar. Janis led the way, got us a seat on one of the picnic benches and we settled down for some great entertainment. We listened to a female singer that was very good and Janis even bought one of her CD's. She handed Janis a photo of herself and got her lipstick out of her bra and covered her lips and kissed the photo -- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, we didn't want that. We sat thru several songs before we decided to mosey on up the street. Checked out some more bars and headed for the car.
We headed back to the hotel for a nap and some wine. Later on we decided to check out a barbecue restaurant we had heard about and even seen on the Food Network channel. Judy was dying for some ribs and I wanted barbecue. Our waitress was probably around 19 or 20 and had a real attitude problem. She showed us to our boothe and acted like it killed her to move. I commented on that and Judy told me to calm down and behave. 20 minutes later she graced us with her presence to take our order. I asked for coffee and she said we don't have any. I said now or ever? She replied "EVER". I wanted to fix her attitude with a tire tool. She never came back to check on us, see if we wanted anything else, drinks or the bill. We finally had to go to the register to pay. The manager looked aggravated that we didn't have the bill and that he had to chase her down to get it. She glared at us. Judy and Janis got change and walked back and left her a tip -- GUESS WHO DID NOT LEAVE A TIP. You got it. ME! Back we to the hotel we went, bellies full and chins greasy.
The next morning was Friday, the first day of the Blues Festival. James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt were two of the headliners. Of course, they were not performing until Saturday night. But the program we had looked great. We had no idea what to expect. On our drive-by we had seen several large white tents set up in the park down by the river and several stages set up on the grounds.
We opened the hotel door to check the weather and DAMN, it was pouring rain. Just our luck we all said. Why Us? Janis said never fear -- she was prepared. She brought huge black garbage bags for us. I swear to God, they were 6 ft long. Judy happened to have some scissors and we were able to fashion rain suits for ourselves. Janis, the smart one, brought a hooded raincoat with her from home and Judy did have two umbrellas in the Caddy. Judy had read all the information about parking, trolley, buses, etc. We parked near the PYRAMID (by the bridge) and waited on the trolley car. I hoped I didn't get car sick (or would it be trolley sick). We stood under a trolley gazebo and waited for about 20 minutes for the trolley. The excitement was building and we were acting stupid. 50 cents for a trolley ride to the park and we were on our way. Still raining and we were still pissed. When we exited the trolley it was nowhere near where we thought we would be let off. Rather than inside the park area, we were let off at the top of the hill and had about 40 steps to try and get down with our garbage bags on. Judy had on a long dress and she couldn't see her feet. Janis guided her down the steps because we didn't want to loose the driver of the Big Ole Caddy. I (the pretty one) held on to the railing and prayed I didn't fall down the steps and die in a damned garbage bag. Suffice it to say, we all made it down safely, none the worse.
Once on the park grounds we had to find our tickets inside our purses, inside our garbage bags. I was already sweating and we had just gotten there. Rain was still pouring and we were still pissed to the tune of $75. We walked into the first tent we came to and music was blaring. The entrance was at the rear of the tent and there was no way that we could even see who was singing. Nobody important since there were no signs anywhere. God, it gets hot in a tent when you are wearing a 6ft black garbage bag. I was in and out of there in a heartbeat. I watched some group on one of the outside stages performing and realized most of the people standing in the rain watching and listening were holding up their beer bottles and swaying to the music. Beer, liquor....hmmm. I was really in no mood. Our feet were wet and it was a cold rain. Judy and I found a picnic table to sit on and Janis said she would scope the place out and see if there was anything we needed to see or hear. She came back with a mixed drink and shared with me. Other people were impressed (I guess) with our garbage bags too. We kept getting the Fonzie thumbs up or a "cool man" from various drunks. We were probably in the park for an hour (maybe) and decided we were done. We looked everywhere for a way out of that Park that didn't involve steps. Unless we were in a car and driving we were going back up those 45 steps, in our 6 ft. garbage bags. I was really sweating by this time. Judy was praying that the Lord would let her make it up the last step without falling backwards or tripping on her dress. He answered our prayers, except for the rain.
Back to the room for some wine and crackers and fruit. It took a long time to warm our bodies and during the warm up Janis decides she would like to go to a mall.
Hell with that Judy and I said. Janis whined and we gave in. We had nothing else to do and there were only 5 channels on the TV in the hotel. We hurried thru the rain to the car and headed out to look for a mall. I was pretty sure I could get us to a mall. I was WRONG! We drove for an hour on every back road in Mississippi. Nadda, Nothing, No Malls. Then we decided the malls were closing and we would head home. Guess what. We left Roserita at home, by herself. No way were we able to find our hotel. Off and on interstate ramps, little towns....where in the hell were we? I finally made Judy (the man) stop so I could ask directions. Would you believe that nobody knew the name of our town, street, hotel? Unreal. I asked a guy sitting in his car, he had no clue. We drove around for 30 more minutes and rode right by the deli mart where nobody had a clue. I made Judy (the man) drive up near the gas tanks so I can ask someone else. The person I chose knew exactly where we wanted to go and how to get there. YAYYYY for our side. Roserita had been very helpful and we now knew we would be "lost" without her. Found the hotel, piled out of the car, everyone was tired by then and we went to bed.
The next morning I awoke to Janis and Judy laughing out loud. They said I had been talking in my sleep and even sat up, flipped open my cell phone and said something, shut it and began talking again. They were impressed that I could do that in my sleep. They said I talked alot in my sleep but nothing made any sense. THANK GOD.... That was our laugh for the day. We decided to hell with the festival, we weren't doing that again. If the rain stopped and the sun came out -- then we would discuss it. One of the hotel maids told us that it has rained every time that festival has been held. Wish we had known that when we decided to buy tickets. Sounds like curse to me.
That was the extent of our activities and Sunday morning we packed up and loaded the car. Roserita was plugged in and the windshield wipers were wiping. It was a dreary day from the get go and we chatted for awhile and then it got quiet. Guess who started running off the road -- You got it ---- JUDY (the sleepy one). I was cussing up a storm. I cannot remember whether I took over or whether Janis did. Judy said she was sorry but the rain and the car movement made her sleepy. So she took the shotgun seat and slept all the way until we made a pit stop or stopped for food. We did stop at some little hole in the wall town, nope not Buck Snort, and drove up a steep hill to a Taco Bell. We all had our burritos and one of the guys working there walked by and asked if everything was OK. Judy said yes, but where are we. I wish you could have seen his face. He said TACO BELL. Then we all burst out laughing. We knew what she meant (we are psychic)-- He probably thought we were boozers. Judy finally told him she wanted to know the name of the town. Then he was embarrassed.
Bellies full and bladders emptied we headed for the Interstate. Judy was asleep almost instantly and tried to hold her head up and act as though she was awake -- but you don't snore when you are awake -- well, at least I don't. The traffic was terrible and there was just enough rain to have to run the wipers and to know that the road was slick and we had to slow down.
We made it home safely and unloaded the car and dropped me off. It felt good to be home.
We are already planning our next trip. We loved Kentucky and the the racetracks and thoroughbreds running in the pastures. We hope to have enough money to go to a race there too. Keep your fingers crossed.
Happy Trails
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
CONNECTICUT OR BUST
After a quick beach trip to see George Jones and visit our friends, Janice and Bob, we were ready for a big trip. We had finally conquered the GPS, now referred to as Roserita. We left Blacksburg at 8 a.m. a feat in itself for two old broads; it was a plan that worked.
We talked about heading north and meeting my daughter's new in-laws and the good times we would have. You wonder how on earth best friends can talk forever and never get bored -- we do it all the time. Laughter gets in the way sometimes. I truly meant to take notes so that I wouldn't forget anything, but that did not happen. We had AAA Trip Tixs and maps and did not plan to get lost. Would you believe AAA messed up? I SWEAR I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT. It happened in just before we got to the N.Y. state line. We never found the Exit they referenced and then we backtracked for about 10 miles. Judy is so like a man; she would not ask for directions no matter what. While we looked at the map and talked I saw a young man in a truck in the lot we were in. He was local. I asked him how to get to the particular exit -- his answer was "I DON'T KNOW", I asked if he knew the road -- he said "NO", I finally asked him where the hell he was from. He said "HERE". I thanked him and we drove back and realized we were right all along and we were crossing the State Line into New York. YAHOOOOO. Well that Yahoo was short lived. We were in New York Hell, 5 O'clock traffic that went on and on for 2 1/2 hours. We inched along with the natives and watched unbelievable behavior by bus drivers, teenagers and adults. Pretty damn scary too.
We were totally exhausted by the time we reached our Connecticut destination. Thank God for Roserita, she got us there in one piece. We checked into our Comfort Inn and found everything to our liking. We didn't even unpack. We collapsed into our beds. Karman's flight had gotten in on time but she was exhausted as well. Seems she had to share most of her seat with a overly obese man and she could never get comfortable and that went on for hours. He should have been made to purchase two seats -- I thought that was a rule now..... She told me she was planning on writing a letter and complaining, I doubt she did tho. She was just glad to be off that plane and away from him. I never miss a chance to write a letter (good or bad).
Everyone got some rest and Bridget, her mother Diane and Karman came to the hotel to pick us us. It was a great meet and greet. Diane and I hit it off just fine and Diane wanted to take us all to the Yankee Candle Factory. I thought we were gonna make candles but instead it was a huge store to buy anything your heart desired in the way of decor and candles. We were lucky Bridget had been there and knew (1) where the bathrooms were and (2) the fudge shop. Lots of things were purchased and Diane was so happy to have company with her at one of her favorite stores. I loved listening to Diane talk. Caw for car, sar for saw, and the list goes on and on. She didn't mind the ribbing at all and didn't even make fun of my accent. A clerk in the Candle factory did ask if I was from TEXAS. I said "I wish, cause I love Texas". She was from LONG ISLAND.
The Cracker Barrel gave us fuel to carry on. Karman was dying for biscuits and gravy. Her Southern food. We even stocked up on candy and cards from Cracker Barrel before we headed home. Diane sang for us and she had a beautiful voice. I asked if she was going to sing at the party and she said I was such a kidder. I purchased several small candles in jars and they smelled so good. I decided to open one up and light it the next morning. It was named Key Lime Pie. Oh My God, it smelled like a lime. So I had a lighter and lit the wick and we enjoyed the aroma for an hour or two. Then we all headed out for the day. Yep, you got it. I left the damned candle burning for 7 hrs. When we walked in our room that night, the first thing I smelled was the lime. I said OH GOD -- sure enough. I could have burned the whole place down. Someone was watching over me that day. Later on that night in between snacking and watching TV, I got up to go use the telephone. I reached for the phone and knocked that candle off of the nightstand and all over my bed, the bedskirt and the carpet. Judy was worried she would be charged for it since the room was in her name. I said we will deny doing it. Of course, the maid had been in that room as we left (we saw her) and she had to smell and see the burning candle. Later on I got some paper towels and the iron and got most of the wax off of the carpet. The sheet was easy but that bedskirt was a bitch. I hope the people who do laundry were able to get it out. I still cannot believe I was that stupid.
Bridget is a comedian and had two shows in Boston that week. One before we arrived and another the day after we arrived. Judy and I talk a good game -- we are such pussies. We said hell no, we weren't going to a show that didn't start until 9 p.m. and stay til 11 or 12 and drive 2 hrs from Boston back to Connecticut. One week before we were going to do that and so much more. Instead, Karman, Bridget and another comedian, Daniel, left early for the gig and Judy and I piddled around and got the GPS ready to take us to Boston, sightseeing. GODDDDDDDDDDDD! Well Roserita did get us to Boston safely. We had no plan for when we got there (story of our life). So we drove thru the projects, by dumpsters, the ghetto, the harbor, the main street in Boston and everywhere else. We saw lots of sights from the inside of the car but as usual, we didn't get out of the car. What's wrong with that picture? We're idiots and we know it. Boston was HUGE and we found a huge Park and missed the entry into that so we continued to sight see. I could people watch for days on end. Love it. We survived and made it back to Connecticut in time for dinner.
In the midst of getting ready to have over 50 people invade their home, Diane and Larry had to purchase a new refrigerator, freezer and stove. You have to be able to go with the flow to handle that kind pressure, new appliances, delivery men and boarding your dogs. They were in the process of remodeling their kitchen but that did not include new appliances quite that soon. Good people...they survived and things were fine.
That evening we met Bridget's dad, Larry and more of Bridget's relatives. Everyone was there for the party and to lend a hand to our hosts. My God, we learned the Wedding Reception was going to be catered by an Italian Restaurant -- IS THAT GREAT OR WHAT? A neighbor was making the wedding cake, canolli by another friend and Diane was doing the punch. God, I love punch -- the kind with ginger ale and sherbet. I always overdo on punch. There were so many other things to fill the mouth with that I didn't have time to linger on that punch. There were anti pasta trays, garlic bread, manicotti and an eggplant dish. It couldn't have been better.
The crowd arrived and everyone met everyone else and put the southerners together with the northerners (YANKEES). The house was overflowing with champagne and laughter. Photo ops were taken and little children roamed the house, peeking in every drawer.
I had let my hair grow really long and God only knows why. I decided to have my hairdresser, Kevin, give me a trim so I looked lovely for my girl. He did his best. I was still sweating like a whore in church. There were way too many people
inside and outside which made it hard to cool down. The weather was perfect for an outdoor event. Not only was I sweating, but I managed to drag my right boob and arm thru some of the manicotti sauce (something to eat later). It never fails, I always spill shit on myself. I should carry a cute bib everywhere I go and get over myself -- it's inevitable.
I also had the chance to meet Patti's new girlfriend, Kelly. I have kidded Patti about dating an older woman for months and now it was time to meet her face to face. She was a great sport about it and also about being from Arkansas. Patti is from Boston, so I get to give her hell all the time. What fun to hook up with old friends again.
Larry gave a wonderful toast to Bridget and Karman and everyone shed a tear or two. The only thing more perfect was how beautiful Karman and Bridget looked. Hope I can do the picture thing this time?? Don't hold your breath. Anyway, they looked like models and it took my breath away to see them so happy and beautiful. They were meant for each other. They will have been married a year in August.
The party continued for several hours and several of us started cleaning up. Imagine that I was in charge of champagne bottles and glasses off of the deck. Wow, there were 5 full glasses. I hate to see anything go to waste. You got it. I swigged it all down and it was GOOD! The dishwasher ran and ran and we washed crystal and snacked the whole time. I was glad that I was the only woman there with sweat running down her bra and underwear. My face was as red as a beet. There was a fan that someone had pointed my way but it really didn't get the job done. The AC was running full blast but with lots of people coming and going the house didn't get icey (the way i like it). Judy and I said our goodbyes and hugged and kissed everyone that needed it. We were not going to see those people again. We arrived back at our hotel and collapsed. We realized we needed to start packing some things so we didn't have it all to do the next morning.
We departed Windsor, Ct. and Judy said she "HAD A PLAN". God, I held my breath. She had decided we needed to get off the Interstate and see some sights (we battle over this constantly). When I complain she says I miss my husband.....she knows how to push my buttons. So off we go on back roads to God only knows where. One thing in particular though was she wanted to see the beaches in Delaware, Maryland. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT I cried. Who cares - a beach is a beach. She said she had heard of Rehoboth Beach and we were going to see it. ?#&$Y!#Y*$^!#$!$&$&&(&$&#$
We drove for hours and hours. We reached Delaware and took the exit for the beaches.
First of all if you have seen one beach town you have seen them all. Little towns, lots of traffic. We drove thru them all. Then it was time to head on down the line. WAIT -- YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE. There was no way to get to Maryland without backtracking. WHAAAAAAAAAT. We pull off the road, by this time it is getting dark, so it is about 7 p.m. and we are headed to Virginia buttttttttttttttttttt we are in Delaware. Lots of cursing going on. We get out the map and sure enough -- keep on backtracking. Judy laughed and told me to loosen up...my man would be there when I got home. More cursing. We hadn't stopped to eat or anything else. So a pit stop was way overdue.
Pit stop was made, and off we went again and this time on the damned Interstate. Judy is getting sleepy and I am yelling that she is running out of the road. I said we have to stop and take a power break. I think it was about 11 p.m. when we took the first one. We pulled into a dark rest area, poor lighting and few cars. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the bathroom. No way would I have gone in there. We put our seats back and shut our eyes. I heard Judy snoring and knew she was asleep. I kept watch for the serial killer who would drag us from the car and kill us and our bodies would never be found. You are pretty vulnerable sleeping in a car anyway. I think I let her sleep for 45 min and told her to hit the road. We changed radio stations to some rock n roll and pulled out.
I do remember that outside of Maryland we did cross a bridge that must have been 5 miles high because I could see boat lights way below. There was also a bridge beside of this one that had people working on it at night and you could see the sparks flying. I think I held my breath all the way across. It must have been 3 miles long too. THANK GOD IT WAS DARK. Oh, and there was nothing but tractor trailers flying across. I was a wreck.
We drove and drove and drove. Judy finally let me take the wheel. There was one more power break and I was ready to get to Virginia. We got home at 6 a.m. I unloaded my stuff in the driveway and wasn't sure that I could even make it into the house. That was such an exhausting trip. We realized that in 3 days we were to head to Memphis, Tenn. for the Blues and Jazz Festival (already had our tickets).
Would we be able to make it?
Happy Trails
We talked about heading north and meeting my daughter's new in-laws and the good times we would have. You wonder how on earth best friends can talk forever and never get bored -- we do it all the time. Laughter gets in the way sometimes. I truly meant to take notes so that I wouldn't forget anything, but that did not happen. We had AAA Trip Tixs and maps and did not plan to get lost. Would you believe AAA messed up? I SWEAR I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT. It happened in just before we got to the N.Y. state line. We never found the Exit they referenced and then we backtracked for about 10 miles. Judy is so like a man; she would not ask for directions no matter what. While we looked at the map and talked I saw a young man in a truck in the lot we were in. He was local. I asked him how to get to the particular exit -- his answer was "I DON'T KNOW", I asked if he knew the road -- he said "NO", I finally asked him where the hell he was from. He said "HERE". I thanked him and we drove back and realized we were right all along and we were crossing the State Line into New York. YAHOOOOO. Well that Yahoo was short lived. We were in New York Hell, 5 O'clock traffic that went on and on for 2 1/2 hours. We inched along with the natives and watched unbelievable behavior by bus drivers, teenagers and adults. Pretty damn scary too.
We were totally exhausted by the time we reached our Connecticut destination. Thank God for Roserita, she got us there in one piece. We checked into our Comfort Inn and found everything to our liking. We didn't even unpack. We collapsed into our beds. Karman's flight had gotten in on time but she was exhausted as well. Seems she had to share most of her seat with a overly obese man and she could never get comfortable and that went on for hours. He should have been made to purchase two seats -- I thought that was a rule now..... She told me she was planning on writing a letter and complaining, I doubt she did tho. She was just glad to be off that plane and away from him. I never miss a chance to write a letter (good or bad).
Everyone got some rest and Bridget, her mother Diane and Karman came to the hotel to pick us us. It was a great meet and greet. Diane and I hit it off just fine and Diane wanted to take us all to the Yankee Candle Factory. I thought we were gonna make candles but instead it was a huge store to buy anything your heart desired in the way of decor and candles. We were lucky Bridget had been there and knew (1) where the bathrooms were and (2) the fudge shop. Lots of things were purchased and Diane was so happy to have company with her at one of her favorite stores. I loved listening to Diane talk. Caw for car, sar for saw, and the list goes on and on. She didn't mind the ribbing at all and didn't even make fun of my accent. A clerk in the Candle factory did ask if I was from TEXAS. I said "I wish, cause I love Texas". She was from LONG ISLAND.
The Cracker Barrel gave us fuel to carry on. Karman was dying for biscuits and gravy. Her Southern food. We even stocked up on candy and cards from Cracker Barrel before we headed home. Diane sang for us and she had a beautiful voice. I asked if she was going to sing at the party and she said I was such a kidder. I purchased several small candles in jars and they smelled so good. I decided to open one up and light it the next morning. It was named Key Lime Pie. Oh My God, it smelled like a lime. So I had a lighter and lit the wick and we enjoyed the aroma for an hour or two. Then we all headed out for the day. Yep, you got it. I left the damned candle burning for 7 hrs. When we walked in our room that night, the first thing I smelled was the lime. I said OH GOD -- sure enough. I could have burned the whole place down. Someone was watching over me that day. Later on that night in between snacking and watching TV, I got up to go use the telephone. I reached for the phone and knocked that candle off of the nightstand and all over my bed, the bedskirt and the carpet. Judy was worried she would be charged for it since the room was in her name. I said we will deny doing it. Of course, the maid had been in that room as we left (we saw her) and she had to smell and see the burning candle. Later on I got some paper towels and the iron and got most of the wax off of the carpet. The sheet was easy but that bedskirt was a bitch. I hope the people who do laundry were able to get it out. I still cannot believe I was that stupid.
Bridget is a comedian and had two shows in Boston that week. One before we arrived and another the day after we arrived. Judy and I talk a good game -- we are such pussies. We said hell no, we weren't going to a show that didn't start until 9 p.m. and stay til 11 or 12 and drive 2 hrs from Boston back to Connecticut. One week before we were going to do that and so much more. Instead, Karman, Bridget and another comedian, Daniel, left early for the gig and Judy and I piddled around and got the GPS ready to take us to Boston, sightseeing. GODDDDDDDDDDDD! Well Roserita did get us to Boston safely. We had no plan for when we got there (story of our life). So we drove thru the projects, by dumpsters, the ghetto, the harbor, the main street in Boston and everywhere else. We saw lots of sights from the inside of the car but as usual, we didn't get out of the car. What's wrong with that picture? We're idiots and we know it. Boston was HUGE and we found a huge Park and missed the entry into that so we continued to sight see. I could people watch for days on end. Love it. We survived and made it back to Connecticut in time for dinner.
In the midst of getting ready to have over 50 people invade their home, Diane and Larry had to purchase a new refrigerator, freezer and stove. You have to be able to go with the flow to handle that kind pressure, new appliances, delivery men and boarding your dogs. They were in the process of remodeling their kitchen but that did not include new appliances quite that soon. Good people...they survived and things were fine.
That evening we met Bridget's dad, Larry and more of Bridget's relatives. Everyone was there for the party and to lend a hand to our hosts. My God, we learned the Wedding Reception was going to be catered by an Italian Restaurant -- IS THAT GREAT OR WHAT? A neighbor was making the wedding cake, canolli by another friend and Diane was doing the punch. God, I love punch -- the kind with ginger ale and sherbet. I always overdo on punch. There were so many other things to fill the mouth with that I didn't have time to linger on that punch. There were anti pasta trays, garlic bread, manicotti and an eggplant dish. It couldn't have been better.
The crowd arrived and everyone met everyone else and put the southerners together with the northerners (YANKEES). The house was overflowing with champagne and laughter. Photo ops were taken and little children roamed the house, peeking in every drawer.
I had let my hair grow really long and God only knows why. I decided to have my hairdresser, Kevin, give me a trim so I looked lovely for my girl. He did his best. I was still sweating like a whore in church. There were way too many people
inside and outside which made it hard to cool down. The weather was perfect for an outdoor event. Not only was I sweating, but I managed to drag my right boob and arm thru some of the manicotti sauce (something to eat later). It never fails, I always spill shit on myself. I should carry a cute bib everywhere I go and get over myself -- it's inevitable.
I also had the chance to meet Patti's new girlfriend, Kelly. I have kidded Patti about dating an older woman for months and now it was time to meet her face to face. She was a great sport about it and also about being from Arkansas. Patti is from Boston, so I get to give her hell all the time. What fun to hook up with old friends again.
Larry gave a wonderful toast to Bridget and Karman and everyone shed a tear or two. The only thing more perfect was how beautiful Karman and Bridget looked. Hope I can do the picture thing this time?? Don't hold your breath. Anyway, they looked like models and it took my breath away to see them so happy and beautiful. They were meant for each other. They will have been married a year in August.
The party continued for several hours and several of us started cleaning up. Imagine that I was in charge of champagne bottles and glasses off of the deck. Wow, there were 5 full glasses. I hate to see anything go to waste. You got it. I swigged it all down and it was GOOD! The dishwasher ran and ran and we washed crystal and snacked the whole time. I was glad that I was the only woman there with sweat running down her bra and underwear. My face was as red as a beet. There was a fan that someone had pointed my way but it really didn't get the job done. The AC was running full blast but with lots of people coming and going the house didn't get icey (the way i like it). Judy and I said our goodbyes and hugged and kissed everyone that needed it. We were not going to see those people again. We arrived back at our hotel and collapsed. We realized we needed to start packing some things so we didn't have it all to do the next morning.
We departed Windsor, Ct. and Judy said she "HAD A PLAN". God, I held my breath. She had decided we needed to get off the Interstate and see some sights (we battle over this constantly). When I complain she says I miss my husband.....she knows how to push my buttons. So off we go on back roads to God only knows where. One thing in particular though was she wanted to see the beaches in Delaware, Maryland. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT I cried. Who cares - a beach is a beach. She said she had heard of Rehoboth Beach and we were going to see it. ?#&$Y!#Y*$^!#$!$&$&&(&$&#$
We drove for hours and hours. We reached Delaware and took the exit for the beaches.
First of all if you have seen one beach town you have seen them all. Little towns, lots of traffic. We drove thru them all. Then it was time to head on down the line. WAIT -- YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE. There was no way to get to Maryland without backtracking. WHAAAAAAAAAT. We pull off the road, by this time it is getting dark, so it is about 7 p.m. and we are headed to Virginia buttttttttttttttttttt we are in Delaware. Lots of cursing going on. We get out the map and sure enough -- keep on backtracking. Judy laughed and told me to loosen up...my man would be there when I got home. More cursing. We hadn't stopped to eat or anything else. So a pit stop was way overdue.
Pit stop was made, and off we went again and this time on the damned Interstate. Judy is getting sleepy and I am yelling that she is running out of the road. I said we have to stop and take a power break. I think it was about 11 p.m. when we took the first one. We pulled into a dark rest area, poor lighting and few cars. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the bathroom. No way would I have gone in there. We put our seats back and shut our eyes. I heard Judy snoring and knew she was asleep. I kept watch for the serial killer who would drag us from the car and kill us and our bodies would never be found. You are pretty vulnerable sleeping in a car anyway. I think I let her sleep for 45 min and told her to hit the road. We changed radio stations to some rock n roll and pulled out.
I do remember that outside of Maryland we did cross a bridge that must have been 5 miles high because I could see boat lights way below. There was also a bridge beside of this one that had people working on it at night and you could see the sparks flying. I think I held my breath all the way across. It must have been 3 miles long too. THANK GOD IT WAS DARK. Oh, and there was nothing but tractor trailers flying across. I was a wreck.
We drove and drove and drove. Judy finally let me take the wheel. There was one more power break and I was ready to get to Virginia. We got home at 6 a.m. I unloaded my stuff in the driveway and wasn't sure that I could even make it into the house. That was such an exhausting trip. We realized that in 3 days we were to head to Memphis, Tenn. for the Blues and Jazz Festival (already had our tickets).
Would we be able to make it?
Happy Trails
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