CONNECTICUT OR BUST

After a quick beach trip to see George Jones and visit our friends, Janice and Bob, we were ready for a big trip. We had finally conquered the GPS, now referred to as Roserita. We left Blacksburg at 8 a.m. a feat in itself for two old broads; it was a plan that worked.

We talked about heading north and meeting my daughter's new in-laws and the good times we would have. You wonder how on earth best friends can talk forever and never get bored -- we do it all the time. Laughter gets in the way sometimes. I truly meant to take notes so that I wouldn't forget anything, but that did not happen. We had AAA Trip Tixs and maps and did not plan to get lost. Would you believe AAA messed up? I SWEAR I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT. It happened in just before we got to the N.Y. state line. We never found the Exit they referenced and then we backtracked for about 10 miles. Judy is so like a man; she would not ask for directions no matter what. While we looked at the map and talked I saw a young man in a truck in the lot we were in. He was local. I asked him how to get to the particular exit -- his answer was "I DON'T KNOW", I asked if he knew the road -- he said "NO", I finally asked him where the hell he was from. He said "HERE". I thanked him and we drove back and realized we were right all along and we were crossing the State Line into New York. YAHOOOOO. Well that Yahoo was short lived. We were in New York Hell, 5 O'clock traffic that went on and on for 2 1/2 hours. We inched along with the natives and watched unbelievable behavior by bus drivers, teenagers and adults. Pretty damn scary too.

We were totally exhausted by the time we reached our Connecticut destination. Thank God for Roserita, she got us there in one piece. We checked into our Comfort Inn and found everything to our liking. We didn't even unpack. We collapsed into our beds. Karman's flight had gotten in on time but she was exhausted as well. Seems she had to share most of her seat with a overly obese man and she could never get comfortable and that went on for hours. He should have been made to purchase two seats -- I thought that was a rule now..... She told me she was planning on writing a letter and complaining, I doubt she did tho. She was just glad to be off that plane and away from him. I never miss a chance to write a letter (good or bad).

Everyone got some rest and Bridget, her mother Diane and Karman came to the hotel to pick us us. It was a great meet and greet. Diane and I hit it off just fine and Diane wanted to take us all to the Yankee Candle Factory. I thought we were gonna make candles but instead it was a huge store to buy anything your heart desired in the way of decor and candles. We were lucky Bridget had been there and knew (1) where the bathrooms were and (2) the fudge shop. Lots of things were purchased and Diane was so happy to have company with her at one of her favorite stores. I loved listening to Diane talk. Caw for car, sar for saw, and the list goes on and on. She didn't mind the ribbing at all and didn't even make fun of my accent. A clerk in the Candle factory did ask if I was from TEXAS. I said "I wish, cause I love Texas". She was from LONG ISLAND.

The Cracker Barrel gave us fuel to carry on. Karman was dying for biscuits and gravy. Her Southern food. We even stocked up on candy and cards from Cracker Barrel before we headed home. Diane sang for us and she had a beautiful voice. I asked if she was going to sing at the party and she said I was such a kidder. I purchased several small candles in jars and they smelled so good. I decided to open one up and light it the next morning. It was named Key Lime Pie. Oh My God, it smelled like a lime. So I had a lighter and lit the wick and we enjoyed the aroma for an hour or two. Then we all headed out for the day. Yep, you got it. I left the damned candle burning for 7 hrs. When we walked in our room that night, the first thing I smelled was the lime. I said OH GOD -- sure enough. I could have burned the whole place down. Someone was watching over me that day. Later on that night in between snacking and watching TV, I got up to go use the telephone. I reached for the phone and knocked that candle off of the nightstand and all over my bed, the bedskirt and the carpet. Judy was worried she would be charged for it since the room was in her name. I said we will deny doing it. Of course, the maid had been in that room as we left (we saw her) and she had to smell and see the burning candle. Later on I got some paper towels and the iron and got most of the wax off of the carpet. The sheet was easy but that bedskirt was a bitch. I hope the people who do laundry were able to get it out. I still cannot believe I was that stupid.

Bridget is a comedian and had two shows in Boston that week. One before we arrived and another the day after we arrived. Judy and I talk a good game -- we are such pussies. We said hell no, we weren't going to a show that didn't start until 9 p.m. and stay til 11 or 12 and drive 2 hrs from Boston back to Connecticut. One week before we were going to do that and so much more. Instead, Karman, Bridget and another comedian, Daniel, left early for the gig and Judy and I piddled around and got the GPS ready to take us to Boston, sightseeing. GODDDDDDDDDDDD! Well Roserita did get us to Boston safely. We had no plan for when we got there (story of our life). So we drove thru the projects, by dumpsters, the ghetto, the harbor, the main street in Boston and everywhere else. We saw lots of sights from the inside of the car but as usual, we didn't get out of the car. What's wrong with that picture? We're idiots and we know it. Boston was HUGE and we found a huge Park and missed the entry into that so we continued to sight see. I could people watch for days on end. Love it. We survived and made it back to Connecticut in time for dinner.

In the midst of getting ready to have over 50 people invade their home, Diane and Larry had to purchase a new refrigerator, freezer and stove. You have to be able to go with the flow to handle that kind pressure, new appliances, delivery men and boarding your dogs. They were in the process of remodeling their kitchen but that did not include new appliances quite that soon. Good people...they survived and things were fine.

That evening we met Bridget's dad, Larry and more of Bridget's relatives. Everyone was there for the party and to lend a hand to our hosts. My God, we learned the Wedding Reception was going to be catered by an Italian Restaurant -- IS THAT GREAT OR WHAT? A neighbor was making the wedding cake, canolli by another friend and Diane was doing the punch. God, I love punch -- the kind with ginger ale and sherbet. I always overdo on punch. There were so many other things to fill the mouth with that I didn't have time to linger on that punch. There were anti pasta trays, garlic bread, manicotti and an eggplant dish. It couldn't have been better.

The crowd arrived and everyone met everyone else and put the southerners together with the northerners (YANKEES). The house was overflowing with champagne and laughter. Photo ops were taken and little children roamed the house, peeking in every drawer.

I had let my hair grow really long and God only knows why. I decided to have my hairdresser, Kevin, give me a trim so I looked lovely for my girl. He did his best. I was still sweating like a whore in church. There were way too many people
inside and outside which made it hard to cool down. The weather was perfect for an outdoor event. Not only was I sweating, but I managed to drag my right boob and arm thru some of the manicotti sauce (something to eat later). It never fails, I always spill shit on myself. I should carry a cute bib everywhere I go and get over myself -- it's inevitable.

I also had the chance to meet Patti's new girlfriend, Kelly. I have kidded Patti about dating an older woman for months and now it was time to meet her face to face. She was a great sport about it and also about being from Arkansas. Patti is from Boston, so I get to give her hell all the time. What fun to hook up with old friends again.

Larry gave a wonderful toast to Bridget and Karman and everyone shed a tear or two. The only thing more perfect was how beautiful Karman and Bridget looked. Hope I can do the picture thing this time?? Don't hold your breath. Anyway, they looked like models and it took my breath away to see them so happy and beautiful. They were meant for each other. They will have been married a year in August.

The party continued for several hours and several of us started cleaning up. Imagine that I was in charge of champagne bottles and glasses off of the deck. Wow, there were 5 full glasses. I hate to see anything go to waste. You got it. I swigged it all down and it was GOOD! The dishwasher ran and ran and we washed crystal and snacked the whole time. I was glad that I was the only woman there with sweat running down her bra and underwear. My face was as red as a beet. There was a fan that someone had pointed my way but it really didn't get the job done. The AC was running full blast but with lots of people coming and going the house didn't get icey (the way i like it). Judy and I said our goodbyes and hugged and kissed everyone that needed it. We were not going to see those people again. We arrived back at our hotel and collapsed. We realized we needed to start packing some things so we didn't have it all to do the next morning.

We departed Windsor, Ct. and Judy said she "HAD A PLAN". God, I held my breath. She had decided we needed to get off the Interstate and see some sights (we battle over this constantly). When I complain she says I miss my husband.....she knows how to push my buttons. So off we go on back roads to God only knows where. One thing in particular though was she wanted to see the beaches in Delaware, Maryland. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT I cried. Who cares - a beach is a beach. She said she had heard of Rehoboth Beach and we were going to see it. ?#&$Y!#Y*$^!#$!$&$&&(&$&#$

We drove for hours and hours. We reached Delaware and took the exit for the beaches.
First of all if you have seen one beach town you have seen them all. Little towns, lots of traffic. We drove thru them all. Then it was time to head on down the line. WAIT -- YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE. There was no way to get to Maryland without backtracking. WHAAAAAAAAAT. We pull off the road, by this time it is getting dark, so it is about 7 p.m. and we are headed to Virginia buttttttttttttttttttt we are in Delaware. Lots of cursing going on. We get out the map and sure enough -- keep on backtracking. Judy laughed and told me to loosen up...my man would be there when I got home. More cursing. We hadn't stopped to eat or anything else. So a pit stop was way overdue.

Pit stop was made, and off we went again and this time on the damned Interstate. Judy is getting sleepy and I am yelling that she is running out of the road. I said we have to stop and take a power break. I think it was about 11 p.m. when we took the first one. We pulled into a dark rest area, poor lighting and few cars. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the bathroom. No way would I have gone in there. We put our seats back and shut our eyes. I heard Judy snoring and knew she was asleep. I kept watch for the serial killer who would drag us from the car and kill us and our bodies would never be found. You are pretty vulnerable sleeping in a car anyway. I think I let her sleep for 45 min and told her to hit the road. We changed radio stations to some rock n roll and pulled out.

I do remember that outside of Maryland we did cross a bridge that must have been 5 miles high because I could see boat lights way below. There was also a bridge beside of this one that had people working on it at night and you could see the sparks flying. I think I held my breath all the way across. It must have been 3 miles long too. THANK GOD IT WAS DARK. Oh, and there was nothing but tractor trailers flying across. I was a wreck.

We drove and drove and drove. Judy finally let me take the wheel. There was one more power break and I was ready to get to Virginia. We got home at 6 a.m. I unloaded my stuff in the driveway and wasn't sure that I could even make it into the house. That was such an exhausting trip. We realized that in 3 days we were to head to Memphis, Tenn. for the Blues and Jazz Festival (already had our tickets).

Would we be able to make it?

Happy Trails